Is Your Child Practicing the Recorder, Or Are Winged Harpies From the Seventh Circle of Hell Tormenting You From Within Your Own Home?
As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
We Are The Seven White Guys Without Masks In Your Tiny Little Airport
An Open Letter To Lysistrata Regarding Her “No Copulation Without Vaccination Campaign”
Help, I’m At My Son’s Baseball Game And I’ve Forgotten How To People!
Middle-Aged Erotica: Cataract Surgery
Is It a Global Pandemic Or Menopause?
Are You Parenting Small Children During a Pandemic, Or Are You Baba Yaga, the Ogress Who Lives In a Hut on Chicken Legs and Eats Her Victims?
We Must Put An End to Government Overreach, Which Is Why I’m Burning Down These Stop Signs
Female Empowerment Anthems, Rewritten for Accuracy
If We Cancel Standardized Testing, How Will We Keep Poor Kids Out of College?
Points In Case:
Quiz: Are You Getting LASIK Surgery, Or Starring In A Cheap Porn?
Passages from My Nine-Year-Old’s Journal That Prove He’s Possessed by Walt Whitman’s Ghost
Thanksgiving Gratitudes from Our Family, a Pack of Alaskan Wolves
Member News Network:
Students Can’t Tell the Difference Between ‘Blended Learning’ and Orwell’s ‘1984‘
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket:
I, Baba Yaga, Don’t Know How Much Longer I Can Stay in this Chicken-Legged Hut with These Children
I Cannot Control the Virus Variants, but I CAN Make You Change All the Punctuation In These HOA Minutes
I Am So Happy You Are Living Your Best Covid Life!
Wines that Pair Perfectly with the Fall… of Democracy,
Little Old Lady Comedy:
Lakeside Elementary Invites You Back to In-Person School!
bless this dishwasher
No, In-Person School is Nothing Like Orwell’s 1984, Although We May Still Unleash Rats Due to Our Rodent Problem, Frazzled, April 2021
An Imagined List of the American Academy of Pediatrics Recommendations for Surviving Your Children During a Pandemic, Frazzled, January 2021
Sammiches and Psyche Meds:
Sorry, Kids, Santa Is Social Distancing this Year
Can Someone Please Retrieve their Small Child Who Keeps Playing with the Weather Laser?
Quiz: Are You Ready to Reenter Society by Attending that Wiccan Séance?
Self-Published Humor Pieces
Happy birthday, America. Today you are 244 years young, which in country years makes you only 4. July, 2020
‘Til Death Do We Fart, June 2020
Apologies to All Witches, November 2019
The Real Reason Your Friends Post So Many Pictures of Their Kids Online, September 2019
Fair Shenanigans and Rogue Ferries, August 2019
Out of Gas and Cell Service On the Chilkat Pass, August 2019
Thunder, Lightning, and I Found My Spirit Animal, August 2019
Behemoth’s Maiden Voyage, Day 1: Wah, I Want to Go Home!, August 2019
Yukon, Here We Come! July 2019