Is Your Child Practicing the Recorder, Or Are Winged Harpies From the Seventh Circle of Hell Tormenting You From Within Your Own Home? McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, forthcoming in March 2021
We Must Put An End to Government Overreach, Which Is Why I’m Burning Down These Stop Signs, Belladonna Comedy, March 2021
Female Empowerment Anthems, Rewritten for Accuracy, Belladonna Comedy, March 2021
As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, February 2021
I Am So Happy You Are Living Your Best Covid Life! Greener Pastures, February 2021
Is It a Global Pandemic Or Menopause? Slackjaw, January 2021
An Imagined List of the American Academy of Pediatrics Recommendations for Surviving Your Children During a Pandemic, Frazzled, January 2021
Lakeside Elementary Invites You Back to In-Person School! Little Old Lady Comedy, January 2021
Sorry, Kids, Santa Is Social Distancing this Year, Sammiches and Psyche Meds, December 2020
Thanksgiving Gratitudes from Our Family, a Pack of Alaskan Wolves, Robot Butt, November 2020
bless this dishwasher (poem), Little Old Lady Comedy, November 2020
Wines that Pair Perfectly with the Fall… of Democracy, Greener Pastures, November 2020
Quiz: Are You Ready to Reenter Society by Attending that Wiccan Séance? The Haven, October 2020
Self-Published Humor Pieces
Happy birthday, America. Today you are 244 years young, which in country years makes you only 4. July, 2020
‘Til Death Do We Fart, June 2020
Apologies to All Witches, November 2019
The Real Reason Your Friends Post So Many Pictures of Their Kids Online, September 2019
Fair Shenanigans and Rogue Ferries, August 2019
Out of Gas and Cell Service On the Chilkat Pass, August 2019
Thunder, Lightning, and I Found My Spirit Animal, August 2019
Behemoth’s Maiden Voyage, Day 1: Wah, I Want to Go Home!, August 2019
Yukon, Here We Come! July 2019
