Robot Butt: Thanksgiving Gratitudes From Our Family, a Pack of Alaskan Wolves
Photo by Thomas Bonometti
Wines that Pair Perfectly with the Fall… of Democracy
Photo by Justin Aikin for Unsplash
Thank you to the Haven for publishing my latest piece “Are You Ready to Reenter Society and Attend that Wiccan Seance?”
Happy Halloween, witches and warlocks! Good news: masks are less dangerous that doomscrolling in the dark! (Hello, permanent macular degeneration!) Here is that link: Thank you to the editors!
Quiz: Are You Ready to Reenter Society and Attend that Wiccan Séance?
Now that the High Priestess has declared masks to be safer than deadly adders, our sisters of the dark arts have resumed spellcasting in autumnal forests. Do you feel like you might be ready to interact with real-life, three-dimensional witches again, but aren’t sure how to talk to people after spending seven moons doom-scrolling alone […]
‘Til Death Do We Fart
Yes, this picture is cheesy, but nothing about this article is. For the record, we never do this in real life.
Posted in Blog, essays, humor5 Comments on ‘Til Death Do We Fart
Apologies to All Witches
Trick-or-treating in crappy weather asking strangers to feed my children candy… What’s not to love?
The Real Reason Your Friends Post So Many Pictures of their Kids Online
For a parent, there’s only one other day as dreaded as Halloween, and that’s School Picture Day. I know are probably thinking, What could be more terrifying than having to sew the perfect Minecraft Enderman outfit in time for the Halloween candy crush, only to be followed by red dye psychosis and a visit to […]
Fair Shenanigans and Rogue Ferries
Sometimes I wonder if life is really an alien experiment to see how we humans react. The beginning and middle of our adventure was ridiculous, so there was no reason it shouldn’t end in shenanigans. The first time my four year-old ran away at the Haines Fair, we discovered her in the bouncy house. Later […]
Out of Gas & Cell Service on the Chilkat Pass
My husband has jerry-rigged so much stuff, his last name should be a verb: “Wow, you really Haffner’d that one…” “Dang, check out that Haffner!” And the more embarrassing, “Sort of a half-ass Haffner, don’t you think?” Don’t get me wrong, I mean this in the most loving way possible. If it weren’t for his […]